Why don’t we ask up front? Is it because we’re afraid of the answer? Of course!
As women we have to be reminded to take care of ourselves. The daily routine of life often times involves taking care of the needs of others. The pull between work and life — caring for parents, raising children, making time for a spouse and the demands of our careers — seems to tug harder at women than at men. Balancing the two often means shortchanging one or the other. We seem to put ourselves last in our personal and professional life. As a result, needs are put to the back burner for one simple reason…We are unwilling to ASK for what we want.
It is often stated, that women sometimes feel increasingly isolated, invisible, stressed, and mis-understood. With all the changes and insecurities, women tend to rely on their girlfriends, faith-based institutions and spiritual practices in general for help getting through. Although this great, this can all be eliminated if we just ask for what we REALLY want from others.
It’s time to be Assertive!
Clear communication is only important if you direct it to the individual that can actually make a difference. Part of what contributes to clear communication is being prepared for one. Be clear in your thinking (before you start talking), make the information as easy as possible to understand, and be assertive!
Assertiveness means communicating what you want in a clear manner, respecting your own rights and feelings and the rights and feelings of others. People avoid being assertive because they are afraid of displeasing others and of not being liked. However, not asserting yourself can make you feel taken advantage of and damages your self-esteem.
Somewhere along the way in many of our lives it has been instilled that there is a negative connotation to ask for what you want. Maybe as a kid being denied things from your parents or teachers put fear in the act of asking. Maya Angelou says it best, “Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it”.
You have to be mentally tough, but also compassionate; approachable; driven and fun. It’s important to keep a healthy balance while pursuing the things you are after. Being pushy or overly aggressive may not always be the key to getting what you want.
Never Be Afraid to Ask Questions: – Never! Not at work, or in your personal life.
Asking questions can lead you to discover things about your life, your choices, and your future that you never knew before. Women today have so many more choices than men, including real choices between a focus on family work (stay-at-home mom) and/or paid employment (workforce). Jill Granoff, Chief Executive of the apparel company Kenneth Cole says, “Asking for what you want is as important as getting ahead in business.”
God First, Family, then Business! What do we want in our spiritual lives?
It is very important to incorporate daily prayer into our lives. Don’t allow outside influences to dictate your spiritual life. Be direct and specific in your prayers, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.
– Set aside a special time and place for prayer
– Ask for help in your prayer
– Center your prayer in your heart
– Adjust your prayer according to his will
– Visualize what you want to happen
– Let go, be grateful, be specific and accept what is given
Gandhi once said, “Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul.”
Be Honest & Realistic with yourself
Be honest and realistic with yourself. We sometimes hold romanticized notions of our lives, careers, and even our own abilities, and it can be hard to be honest to look within and face the truth. Sometimes you will discover that we cease to follow our dreams because they are not what we expected, or that we resign from an awesome career because it’s not true to our passion.
SO WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?
Respect. Women want to be honored and appreciated as persons. Not judge or criticize her. Not ignored or taken for granted. They want to be treated like a lady at all times.
Time for themselves. Don’t feel guilty about taking a day for yourself. Ask for help in caring for the children. Treat yourself to manicure/pedicure, a day of shopping or dinner/movie alone.
A Soul-Mate. Someone to ‘be there’ as a companion to share life’s joys and troubles.
Faith Based Relationships. True relationships involves all aspects of life—both positive AND negative. So truth in faith-based relationships will include both positive and negative communication. Positive communication includes encouragement and sharing the good that we see in each other. Negative communication includes pointing out things that may be uncomfortable to say. The key is that we speak in faith and in love for each other.
– Faith: we believe and therefore speak (we don’t hold back what God moves us to share)
– Love: we are in a continuing relationship with each other, in which forgiveness from faith makes us all the same.
Romance. Romance is all the little things a man can do to let her know she is special. He calls her just to say hi. Buys her a gift ‘just because, (it isn’t the cost of the gift, it’s the thought). And flowers, even the smallest bouquet… Mails a card or leaves a note where she’ll find it. For a woman, romance and sex go hand-in-hand. If he wants more sex, he should give her more romanc
Physical Attractiveness. A woman needs to hear from her man that she’s attractive.
Financial Security. Financial security is an important need for a woman to have. It can shows that if he is diligent in the upkeep of his credit and financial dealings, then she can be more assured of his trustworthiness, when it comes to stability in the relationship and other areas of their lives.
All of this in the name of Balance! Creating a Happier, Healthier YOU!
